It looks like the process of filtering on Facebook stopped people from getting information we genuinely needed at some time. 

This is an account about someone who had received a message from his father’s partner during an emergency. 

He blocked his dad out of family conflict for a few months, but his dad’s partner tried reaching out to him with no avail.

“My dad was an alcoholic and made mine, my mum and my sister’s lives hell for 15 years. Even to the point where we had to flee the family home. He then continued to give us abuse. Then after a while it quietened down and we didn’t hear anything for months.

Then we received a call from my dad’s uncle (who we hadn’t spoken to for years) saying that my dad had died a couple of days before. It was a complete shock. We had had to block him [on Facebook] from harassing us so we wouldn’t have known that he might have tried to contact us.

I’ve always hated him for not contacting us when he knew he was going to die. I nearly didn’t attend the funeral, I didn’t carry his coffin, I don’t go to his site on his anniversary and to be honest, up until last week, I was glad that he had gone.

So, when I read the article I thought I’d have a look to see what if anything was in there. I found a message from the day he was going to die telling us that he wasn’t going to make it through the night and that we should go to the hospital.

For all I know he might have wanted to apologise for his behaviour in the past and I would have forgiven him because of his addiction. But I never got that chance because Facebook decided that the message was not important enough for me to receive.

From looking at the message I can see no reason why they would have filtered it as spam. There is nothing to suggest that it’s from a company or advertising person. No bad language or harassment. It’s completely unjustified as to why Facebook would do that.

Now because of this I’m confused about the feelings towards my dad. My mum and sister are really upset and it’s hard to move on now knowing that maybe my dad tried to reconcile with us and he died thinking we didn’t care. We did, we just wanted him to see the error of his ways.

I feel that Facebook has seriously messed up with this because they are all about connectivity and making friends, so who are they to decide that this person who genuinely had an important message was not good enough for me to see?

This has completely turned our world upside down. All because of ‘what if?’.

Before we had moved on and thought that he just wanted to die alone but what if he didn’t. I guess we’ll never know.”